31st May 2011

1 day more 2011 will pass half year la.. 2011 i feel really pass so fast. Don't know this half year more what will happen again. Hope won't have any bad problem happen on me again. Just let my like going on well.

Suddenly felt want to buy a new handphone and laptop, but so bad now i'm so poor, no money. People thought my family have an own business and I'm the younger one in my family, i can get what i want. They said sure now im using i phone, it's wrong.. When i was young can say is right, what i want my parent also bought for me but now i think although i'm the younger, cannot everything i want i also need my parent to buy for me. now i feel something that i buy using my own money to get it myself, that thing i feel it more meaningful. so now i need to keep money to but a handphone or laptop. Or i suppose to keep all the money for future?? i don't know why i always like that, what i want to buy sudden i will change my mind.. maybe the money is really very important for me....

30th May 2011

Trying to advice myself to forget him but don't know why i still can't do it. Every times when open my facebook, 1 thing sure i'll do is open his profile and read his comment. sometimes his comment really make me feel so sad and hurt, but i can't stop to do it. How long time i need to forget him? 1 week, 1 month, 1 years, 10 year or i really can't forget him till i die?? I hope i can do it as fast as possible. "IF YOU CAN HAPPY WITHOUT ME, I ALSO CAN HAPPY WITHOUT YOU".. this's the motivation's word that i use it to advice myself. Actually now he happy or sad? really cannot guess it. Anyway just try my best la.. No matter how long time i need, i also must do it.. forget it. Don't think him anymore. He want to fine a girl that he really love means before i'm not the one that he really love.

Go out for dinner with parent and brother. Bro said want celebrate the belated Monther's Day. Now feel so full already.. and my stomach also look bigger and bigger. Everyday just do something to forget the pass. Exercise, work, chat, online.. etc... How good if i can hang out with friend. So unlucky i don't have any friends can go out with me. Just stay at home to find money.

I think now the 1st thing that i suppose to think is $$$$. That's more important for my life than love. Maybe the money can make me more happy... so money faster come faster come.. I'm waiting for you..!!!

29th May 2011

Almost 4 month i didn't open my blog. Today sudden feel want to write something. This month got 3 special day for me, 1st May is my 3rd year anniversary with bf, felt so happy that day because he came back from Singapore that day. 24th may is my birthday. Although nobody celebrate my birthday but still got a lots of friends wished me happy birthday and 1 day after my birthday 25 May really is a very special day for me that never happen in my life before. My bf want break with me. I really felt that's a big birthday's present that he gave me. That days i really don't know how i want to face it. very surprise.. Never think he'll talk like that to me. The reason that he gave me is he said he not able to take care of me, said himself don't have future ask me to find another man who better than him and got more powerful to take care of me. I ever kidding, said i want him to married me before i'm 26 years old, so he said he can't do it. I told him if i really love him no matter after 26 or no need to married me, i also will still together with him, but don't know why what i said also can't make him change his mind. He still want to do it. I can't do anything, really don't know what should i say. just accepted. I really don't know either his reason is true or not. But if he said that's true i'll believe him. If he still love me why he think that he can't take care of me in his future. If the love is true, sure he will try his best to make his future become better. Why he didn't do like that but just want to give up??? Maybe he really cannot take care of me because i'm a patient..???