3rd June 2011

Sleep late but wake up bit early. need go to hospital to take medicine.

A hot day, really so hot today. Back from hospital go shopping a while. came back home just continue my work.

felt so tired and sleepy so just go take a nap. listen song while sleeping. After feel hour i sudden wake up when i heard a song "waiting for you". suddenly my tears start flowed. That's the song that i always sing when i'm miss him. Continue a song ”你不知道我为什么离开你“, my tears flowed much and much more. I think, i really don't know why he wan break with me.. really what he said is true?? Again another song ”你怎么舍得我难过“... Shit...!!! suddenly 3 sad song came out.. Finally just close it. can't sleep anymore, just lay on my bed and think a lots. Why i still want to think something that i'm not suppose to think..

01 June 2011

I'm getting better. I feel that i can start to put it down my sadness. People who help me so much is my friends. I feel so happy this few day. 2 friend sudden called me. I know they call me because want to advice me. Lucky i still can joke and still can feeling happy when talk with them. Not same like somebody that will cry when they chat with friend about their sad problem. I already can accept everything.

Start planning about my future. After i fully recover and no need take my medicine anymore, what should i do? Study, work, continue sit at home to help my parent to look after the shop or just waiting for marry? I think i should learn something to get more experince. Really so hard to think what's suitable for me. need much more time to plan it. I think still got a long time for me to stop the medicine, so i still have a lots of times to plan.

31st May 2011

1 day more 2011 will pass half year la.. 2011 i feel really pass so fast. Don't know this half year more what will happen again. Hope won't have any bad problem happen on me again. Just let my like going on well.

Suddenly felt want to buy a new handphone and laptop, but so bad now i'm so poor, no money. People thought my family have an own business and I'm the younger one in my family, i can get what i want. They said sure now im using i phone, it's wrong.. When i was young can say is right, what i want my parent also bought for me but now i think although i'm the younger, cannot everything i want i also need my parent to buy for me. now i feel something that i buy using my own money to get it myself, that thing i feel it more meaningful. so now i need to keep money to but a handphone or laptop. Or i suppose to keep all the money for future?? i don't know why i always like that, what i want to buy sudden i will change my mind.. maybe the money is really very important for me....

30th May 2011

Trying to advice myself to forget him but don't know why i still can't do it. Every times when open my facebook, 1 thing sure i'll do is open his profile and read his comment. sometimes his comment really make me feel so sad and hurt, but i can't stop to do it. How long time i need to forget him? 1 week, 1 month, 1 years, 10 year or i really can't forget him till i die?? I hope i can do it as fast as possible. "IF YOU CAN HAPPY WITHOUT ME, I ALSO CAN HAPPY WITHOUT YOU".. this's the motivation's word that i use it to advice myself. Actually now he happy or sad? really cannot guess it. Anyway just try my best la.. No matter how long time i need, i also must do it.. forget it. Don't think him anymore. He want to fine a girl that he really love means before i'm not the one that he really love.

Go out for dinner with parent and brother. Bro said want celebrate the belated Monther's Day. Now feel so full already.. and my stomach also look bigger and bigger. Everyday just do something to forget the pass. Exercise, work, chat, online.. etc... How good if i can hang out with friend. So unlucky i don't have any friends can go out with me. Just stay at home to find money.

I think now the 1st thing that i suppose to think is $$$$. That's more important for my life than love. Maybe the money can make me more happy... so money faster come faster come.. I'm waiting for you..!!!

29th May 2011

Almost 4 month i didn't open my blog. Today sudden feel want to write something. This month got 3 special day for me, 1st May is my 3rd year anniversary with bf, felt so happy that day because he came back from Singapore that day. 24th may is my birthday. Although nobody celebrate my birthday but still got a lots of friends wished me happy birthday and 1 day after my birthday 25 May really is a very special day for me that never happen in my life before. My bf want break with me. I really felt that's a big birthday's present that he gave me. That days i really don't know how i want to face it. very surprise.. Never think he'll talk like that to me. The reason that he gave me is he said he not able to take care of me, said himself don't have future ask me to find another man who better than him and got more powerful to take care of me. I ever kidding, said i want him to married me before i'm 26 years old, so he said he can't do it. I told him if i really love him no matter after 26 or no need to married me, i also will still together with him, but don't know why what i said also can't make him change his mind. He still want to do it. I can't do anything, really don't know what should i say. just accepted. I really don't know either his reason is true or not. But if he said that's true i'll believe him. If he still love me why he think that he can't take care of me in his future. If the love is true, sure he will try his best to make his future become better. Why he didn't do like that but just want to give up??? Maybe he really cannot take care of me because i'm a patient..???

28th January 2011

Waiting my bf come back. Now he already on the way back from singapore. Waiting him come back bring me go out.. Long time didn't go ipoh shopping. And long time already didn't go out take dinner with him and drink our favourite lemon tea. Now sudden feel want eat KFC and McChicken... Tomorrow hope can go eat with him la..

24th January 2011

So tired.. Just finish clean all the plate. My home got too much plate.. A lots of new plates, feel want to sell out. Put too much at home also no use. After work, my toe feel so pain. Yesterday after wear my new high heel shoe, my side toe start pain and got a water spot.. i used the needle to break it. So many water came out.. So today it become more pain because i didn't use the plaster to protect it.. now look red already. so today want to sleep early la...

23rd January 2011

Woke up at 3am to go toilet, when i open my room's door, wow... i saw a lots of mouse one ran to right side, one to left and upside also got. They look like gathering for meeting when i'm sleeping. Saw the bun on my table lost already. So angry. Now all the mouse in my house really so clever already, want catch them also hard.. Don't want to put the mouse's poison cause if they dead my house will become so smelly.. Just try others..

This morning, wake up on 10am. Went shopping with my Mother. Bought many thing. Almost all also is food. When I'm waiting my Dad to fetch me, sudden a handsome guy came to talk with me. For what?? Just want to introduce me to open the bank AmAssurance's saving plan. Explains explains and explains, see my Dad still not come yet, just listen what he say. Last he ask my name and contact number. I gave him, but the hp number is my old number.. Money also don't have how to open. Come find the poor girl, wasted his saliva.. Maybe i told him that my family open a liquor shop so he though that i'm a rich girl.. so wish one day i really can be a rich girl.. God bless me...

22nd January 2011

Wake up so late today. This morning from 1am lay till 5am only can sleep. So today wake up around 2pm more. So lazy today, but still need to work. Yesterday night, chat with a new friend from facebook who also have a same epilepsy problem with me. So sad to heard that his seizures happen is because of his brain problem. His brain got a tube. So unlucky, after operation his seizures still attack him every month. I heard Doctor and got many information said if the epilepsy problem is cause of brain, after the surgery the seizures will complete recover and become normal. But so unlucky, he's the different one. He said sometimes he ask himself, why im given this??? actually, this question also a same question that i ever ask myself. But nobody can answer it, only the GOD know. I'm more lucky cause my problem now already in well controlled. So the medicine must always accompany me, if i forgot take it, sure the seizures will attack cause before i ever tried it. Already 8 years I'm living in this epilepsy life. 8 years really pass so fast. from study till now and now till which one day my problem can fully recover. Some said that epilepsy cannot recover, the medicine I'm taking just for control my seizures. But i get some information that if the problem is not from family, one day it will recover but it need time. Just let the time pass..

Wish in this 2011 all also going well. In this year i didn't feel any different. No feeling that already new year. This year I didn't plan anything. Every year planned also the same. All the problem happen just not same in what i planned. Hope can keep money but don't know where all the money gone in the end..??? finish used also forgot.

Anyway, just wish this year me, whole family, friends and others will be more healthy, happy, lucky, wealthy and prosperity.. All goes well.. (*o*)/

21th January 2011

Today my finger injured. My right middle finger injured. When i put a bowl on table sudden my hand bleeding. But im so confuse, why sudden bleeding, i checked the bowl don't have any break. Lucky not so pain. Today also received a new friend request in facebook. He wrote that he also got epilepsy. Finally, got a new friend also got same problem with me add me as a friend. Song long time already im waiting someone that can share the same problem with me..

20th January 2011

Long time didn't open my blog. Time really pass so fast, suddenly already 2011..Today is Thaipusam, I still remember, When i was young, i stay at my shop infront the road, every night when Thaipusam sure i'll open my window when i heard a very noisy sound. Saw a car full of colourful light, it look so nice and got a lots of indian's man singing, dancing and shouting and sometimes i see they really look like a monkey.. But the most ugly is the man who pulling the car. So dizzy when i saw they backside, so now i don like to c it anymore.. They really didn't feel pain?? That time they still fresh o already blur?? Really don't understand why. My friend said he will join it, so i'll ask him after the Thaipusam what's his feeling that time.. He asked me to see him, aiyee.. so ugly. I won't go. Thaipusam not so interested for me, but Chinese New Year almost come already. This year fell the CNY really come so fast. Anything also still not ready yet. CNY clothes also still not buy yet, need to waiting someone come back to accompany me go to buy it..